Posts Tagged ‘online dating emails’

Taming “Needy” Behaviors.

You know I often talk about how important it is to avoid needy behavior when dealing with women online.  Well, here’s a letter from a subscriber that illustrates what can happen when you come on too strong:

Christophe,

I gotta problem. I met a woman a couple of weeks ago, and what a woman! She is just amazing and I cant get her out of my head. We have only met twice so far but spend over an hour on the phone very night. The first date was dinner at the yacht club and the 2nd we spent most of the night on the beach talking and drinking champagne. Sounds pretty good eh! So what’s the problem? Well, her ex really screwed her up. She’s not given me all the details yet but the result is that she has major trust issues and she shares she has ‘lost’ herself and does not know who she is or what she wants out of life anymore. She says she sees me as a great friend but does not know if she wants another relationship. Her last relationship was a marriage of about 20 years. I know it crazy but I think she is the one! How do I get her to break through her current negativity and realize that not all men will damage her in the way that her ex has.

My head is telling to give this woman a wide berth and look elsewhere but I just can’t because I would wonder what might have been if I stuck it out.

CY Australia

(My Response)

Hey,

Ok, first of all… SLOW DOWN!

You need to take a deep breath here and give her some room to think.  I see two big problems here that stand out:

“but spend over an hour on the phone very night.”

It’s great that you two have a solid connection and that things seem to be going well, but you don’t want to be spending hours on the phone every night.

Are you familiar with attraction theory?  Things like giving her the gift of missing you and avoiding neediness?  When you come on too strong and suffocate women, it can lead to this…

“She says she sees me as a great friend but does not know if she wants another relationship.”

Bingo!  That tells you something right there.  She will rationalize it in her mind that she’s “not ready” to move onto someone else and her past relationship does factor in, but; you still need to do things right when it comes to building attraction.

Here’s what you should do… no contact for three days!  I mean no phone calls, texts, nothing!  See what happens.  I’m betting she will come to you.

Try and be patient and take things more slowly.  Let her know that you are still dating other women, which is what you should be doing anyway.

If she is “the one.”  You’ll know soon enough.

Christophe

Remember, any time you display needy behavior, it lowers your value and a woman will thus become less attracted to you.

So what’s the answer??  Don’t do it!!  Always raise your perceived value in her eyes.  That’s the key to becoming successful with Online Dating.

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How To Respond When She “Rejects” You

So, you’ve sent an email to a woman you REALLY dig. It was one of your BEST emails, one that will surely catch her attention. You wait a few days for her response and… nothing.

You wait a few more days and still no response.  So, you send her your standard, “no response” email. She’s sure to respond to that one.  Once again, you wait for her response. Then a few days later, FINALLY, there’s her email in your inbox!

She responded! You read her message which says,

“Hi, so sorry about not getting back to you. Things have been really hectic around here. Unfortunately, I don’t think we are a good match.”

Take care,

(name)

Ah, there it is… The “take care” message that so many women send. I would swear they all belong to some underground woman’s group that came up with this “take care” message as their standard response. Kind of like a woman’s standard fake number she hands out at bars and clubs.

If you’ve been involved in online dating for any length of time, I’m sure you’ve seen this response.  So, how do you respond?  Well, here’s what you DON’T do.  You definitely want to AVOID getting all mad and sending her an angry response.

Here’s one that women get all the time:

“You know, I don’t know how you can reject someone you haven’t even met in person. You don’t even know me. We could have been a great match. Next time, why don’t you give a guy a chance..”

There it is. Angry response from angry guy!  What does the above message say about angry guy?

It says,

“I’m angry, rejected and I’m putting too much importance on what you think of me. I don’t have a whole lot going on in my life so I was hoping you would like me. I feel so bad about you rejecting me that I’m going to try and get you back by shaming you.”

See, how silly that is? No woman on an internet dating site should have that kind of power over you. It doesn’t do any good to get angry and try and “get her back.” That’s a waste of time and energy.

Instead, send her something like this:

“Hey, no problem! I’ve got thick skin. Anyway, good luck out there. You’re going to need it.”

Says all the right things about you and it’s rather ambiguous with the “you’re going to need it” comment at the end. She’ll be dying to know what you mean by that… it might even get her coming back to you.

Try it and let me know what happens.

.

If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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Are You Using This Subject Line??

I just ran across a very funny article about a crafty new subject line some guys are using when writing to women on internet dating sites.

Check it out here:

Internet Dating Article

My advice??? Obviously, don’t do it!

Some guys are too much!  lol

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If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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Make it a Habit!

One really important thing to do when you’re “online dating” is to develop a system that works for you.

Take all the components involved…

designing an eye-catching profile and tweaking it, responding to women, going out on dates, calling women, and create a system that will allow you to have all of it on autopilot.

Let’s take emailing women as an example.

You come home from work after a busy day and you decide to fire off some emails.

Well, first you need to check your inbox and see who has emailed and winked at you. Go through the winks and decide which of the women who sent them you find attractive.

Don’t wink back at them!

Instead, fire off your standard, “wink response” and see if she bites.

If not, no big deal. Now quickly move to your emails. Again, decide which ones you like and send your standard, “she emailed first” response…

Done.

That was easy!

Now, quickly check out the profiles of women who have viewed you recently.

These are women who are already interested in you… Look for ones you find attractive and send your standard, “viewed me” email to them.

If she bites fine.

If not, move on.

Decide to send a total of five emails tonight. If the amount of “viewed me” emails you just sent doesn’t total five, start doing a profile search in your area.

Find women you really like and then fire off your standard, “first email.”

You sent five emails!

You’re done for tonight!

Now go on to something more important while you wait to see the results of your efforts.

That’s it!

Online Dating on autopilot.

Make it a habit!

.

If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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This Scares me…

So, what were you thinking when you read that subject line?

I’m going to read your mind and guess that you really needed to see what this post is about.

I mean, if I saw a subject line that read, “This Scares me…”, I’m going to open it up right away!

Well, when I saw this subject line in my email inbox, I came up with a pretty cool idea.

Now, you know I really like coming up with clever subject lines for my online dating emails.

Nothing is more important than getting your emails opened because attractive women get bombarded with emails from guys all the time.

So, how about I use the above subject line in an email!

I can see it now…

Subject:  This Scares me…

Body:  I mean, you are getting flooded with emails from guys that just DON’T get it! And you were about to respond to one of them??  Don’t do it!  Seriously!  Anyway…

There we go.

Just continue on from there.

You can come up with all kinds of clever ways to expand onthat subject line.

Go for it!

And let me know how it goes.

And stay tuned for more Internet Dating Tips.

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