Posts Tagged ‘online dating advice’

How To Respond To Winks

Ok, a lot of dating sites have a feature where you can “wink” or send some sort of ice breaker to a woman.

Now, I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again…. DO NOT SEND WINKS TO WOMEN!

Why?

Because it shows you have NO balls!  Women complain all the time about guys sending them winks and don’t have the balls to send a message!  Not good… because this shows a lack of confidence.  And you know how women feel about guys who aren’t confident!

But, what if a woman sends YOU a wink??  What do you do?

Well, I have a little line I like to send back that works GREAT for me!  If I get a wink from an attractive woman, I like to send the following message back to her:

“Hey, was that you winking at me from across the room?  Why don’t you come over and introduce yourself! C’mon, don’t be shy!”

See how that works?  It’s short, blunt and puts it back on her to come over and “introduce herself.”

Try it out and let me know how it works!  I think you’ll be surprised!

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The Perfect Time To Meet For A Date

OK, so you’ve finally done it…

You wrote up an awesome online dating profile, sent emails to all the attractive women you can find and you finally found a woman you REALLY Dig! Now, it’s time to make the move…

It’s time to meet her in person!

Now, I’m assuming you did all the right things when emailing her. You built plenty of rapport and got her VERY excited to meet you. This is very important when meeting women online. If you made the mistake of “half-assing” the whole thing, you’ll find yourself with a woman who doesn’t have any desire to meet you. And the inevitable game of phone tag begins…And you never meet her in person.

Now, let’s assume it’s going to happen. During your phone conversation you DID remember to set up a meet… Right? That’s why you are doing online dating! To meet women live and in person.

You don’t want to get caught in a frustrating game of “trying to nail her down.” If that’s what is happening, then chances are you did something wrong in your emails and she doesn’t REALLY want to meet you.

So, to make sure that doesn’t happen, you HAVE to nail down a time and place for that first date at the END of the FIRST phone call. Read that again to make sure it sinks in! DO NOT get stuck doing phone tag. That sucks!

So, when is a good time to meet her? Is there a perfect time and day? Yes, there is. And that time is…as soon as possible!

Do you understand what I’m saying? You want to get her off emails and phone calls and IN PERSON as quickly as you can so you can start having face to face conversations. You don’t want to waste time and neither does she.

What I’m saying is, you need to set up a meet within a few days of that first phone call. I don’t care if it’s on a weekend or not. You may have heard some guys tell you to avoid weekends to give the impression that you are busy and have a life.

This is BAD ADVICE! I know from experience because I used to play those games. And what happened? I ended up screwing myself. If you try to delay things for any reason, you’ll KILL all the momentum you built up in emails and phone calls. It’s SUPER important to keep it going. That’s why you want to meet up as quickly as possible. You’re a man and you take the lead on things. You call the shots and you get things moving! This is how you want to do it. Trust me!

So, next time you meet a woman off the internet, take it offline as SOON as possible!

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If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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How To Write A Killer Online Dating Profile

Let me ask you…

Are You Frustrated with online dating?

If you’re like most guys, you are.  You’re tired of not meeting ATTRACTIVE women from online dating sites.

I mean, who wants to pay $30 a month with no results?  Right?

Believe me, I know how frustrating it can be… I’ve been there and I struggled with it for years.  I thought I would NEVER be able to meet the woman of my dreams online.

When I first started online dating, women were ignoring ALL my profiles and emails.  In fact, I would often send out 10 to 20 emails A DAY and get NO responses.  It was crazy!  And I wasn’t exactly the kind of guy to go out and approach hot women in bars and clubs so online dating was my only option at the time.

Well, one day everything turned around for me.  After lots of painful trial and error, I realized that I was making the SAME mistakes over and over again.  And once I stopped making these mistakes, I was meeting women left and right.  In fact, I actually had to STOP sending out emails because my plate was full.  That’s how dramatically things changed for me!

As it turns out, most guys are still making these mistakes and they don’t even know it.  It’s no wonder most guys give up within a MONTH after signing up to online dating sites.

What are these mistakes?

1)       First, they write bland/boring dating profiles.  Their profiles just don’t stand out.  They aren’t using compelling headlines and they aren’t showing any emotion!  They just list facts and the end result is a stale, boring profile with NO excitement.

2)      Second, they don’t know how to email women in a way that GETS THEIR ATTENTION.  Again, their subject lines don’t stand out and they don’t get how to communicate the Secret Language that women respond to.  If you don’t know how to email women the right way, you WON’T succeed at online dating.

3)      Third, they don’t know how to respond to women who email THEM first.  This is also critical!  Most guys get all excited and totally screw it up.  When women email you, it’s a totally different dynamic and you HAVE to know how to handle it.

So, those are the three main online dating mistakes.

Now, how do you write a dating profile that compels women to respond???

Well, first let’s look at how NOT to write a dating profile.  When I first got into online dating, I wrote up a profile that I’m not really proud of.  In fact, it’s downright embarrassing.  But, I need to show it to you so you’ll understand.  Just promise me you won’t laugh… OK?

Ok, here it is:

Subject:  “Nice Guy Here!!”

Body:  “Hello out there!  Well, I just joined this site and I’m not too sure what to write but here goes.  I’m just a simple guy.  I like hanging out with my friends and traveling to cool places.  I’ve found that it’s so hard to meet women in my area so I thought I’d try online dating.  Anyway, it’s always so hard to write stuff about myself so if you like what you see, maybe we can go out on a date sometime.

(Please I’m not very confident and NEED your approval.  Will you love me??)”

Ok, I didn’t really include that last line, but I might as well have.  So, there it is.  Painful, I know…

That was my first really lame attempt at writing a dating profile.

So, what’s wrong with this profile?  Well, first of all it looks like it’s coming from a kid and not a man.  There’s no real confidence there and no humor, at least not intentional.  It’s like I’m trying to seek her approval in every line.  I’m unsure about myself, I’m uncomfortable in my own skin, basically I’m just a total wuss.  That’s NOT attractive to women.

Ok, so how do you do it right?

Well, I’ve come up with what I call my Secret Formula for writing dating profiles.  It’s a formula I’ve been using for years and it NEVER fails me.

1)      First, you must start off humorous.  Get her emotions going right off the bat.  This does two things; it gets her attention right away AND it makes her want to read more.

2)      Second, you need to convey your confidence.  Use strong, assertive language as you state who you are and what you want making NO apologies for either.  This will be in the middle part of your profile.

3)      Finally, you finish off with more humor.  This gets her laughing again and you get out on a high note.  Always good for showmanship. You do this by telling a brief funny story or my favorite, make fun of other guys on the site.  I might write something like:  “Believe me you want nothing to do with the guy below me, he still lives with his Mother.”   Or something like that.

So, that is my Secret Formula for writing dating profiles.

Now, get out there and write your own dating profile using this formula.  I guarantee you’ll start seeing results FAST!

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If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

.

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Interesting Online Dating Article

So, I was browsing online dating articles and came across a very interesting one called, “Online dating sites are a treasure trove for scientists.”

Check it out here:

Online Dating Article

Some highlights:

“Men most often make the first move, sending that first “wink” or e-mail. They’re also more likely to respond to women’s queries and quicker to write back. Women are more choosy; in one study, they responded to only 16 percent of messages. And they take longer to respond.”

(This is why your emails must STAND OUT and get attention! This study claims women respond to only 16% of messages. With those odds, you had better get noticed!)

“Appearance matters. Men say a photograph is the dominant predictor of whether they’ll connect. Women like photographs but also value the self-descriptive narrative in profiles.

(Of course men choose women based on photos, we’re MEN! But… women aren’t as focused on appearances, it’s more about your profile! This is why it’s important to craft a clever, compelling dating profile like the ones I provide in my Ebook; “Internet Dating Mastery.”)

“What’s attractive? Men who look “genuine,” “extroverted” but not “overly warm or kind;” women who look “feminine, “high in self-esteem” and “not selfish.”

(I always recommend including photos of yourself out with friends, as it will make you look more “extroverted.” Now why would women NOT want guys to look “overly warm or kind?” Women may see that as appearing desperate, or not being very confident. It’s crucial that you don’t make these mistakes.)

Anyway, good read. Check it out.

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The Neediness Curse

If you ever want to turn a woman OFF quickly, there’s no better way than to start being needy.

I have a real life example I’d like to share:

My sister’s best friend is a VERY attractive woman in her late 30’s.  She’s currently divorced and is basically, back in the dating scene.  Anyway, she recently went on a trip to the East coast to visit her father who is ill and in the hospital.

As it happens, she met a young guy who was one of the medics there.  They REALLY hit it off and immediately decided to start dating.

Now, the two of them live on opposite sides of the country but they didn’t care about that at the time.  So, once this woman came home from her trip, she gets a phone call from the young guy who says he’s coming out to visit her.  (Normally not a big deal, but…. this guy had NO other reason for going across the country except to see a woman he just met.)

Around this time my Sister invites me over for dinner to see her friend’s new “Boyfriend.”  I came over and she told me about how he is just here for a visit and will be going back home in a few days.  I met him.  He was cool and I noticed he tended to follow his new flame around constantly wanting to be affectionate with her.

It was at this time, and upon learning that he flew across the country to see a woman he just met, that I said to myself, “This is NOT going to happen!  They’ll split up in less than a month.”

So, I recently just got back from a visit to my Sister’s and asked her how it’s going with them.  She told me that her friend thinks he’s nice, BUT he’s a little too needy… AND she’s no longer returning his calls and texts.

How did I know?  How did I call it??

Well, I’ve made that very same mistake myself.  Not only the neediness thing, but I once flew down to see a woman I just met in my hometown.  She KNEW I was coming down ONLY TO SEE HER.

What happened??

Once I got down there, she didn’t return my calls!

What’s going on here?  Simply put, women are totally and completely TURNED OFF by needy behavior.

Why?  Because it shows a lack of confidence!

And, what is the ONE thing women find most sexy in a guy?

Confidence!

So, the lesson here is, do NOT become needy and obsessed upon meeting a HOT girl!  If you want to visit her, HAVE ANOTHER REASON FOR GOING TO HER AREA!

Call her up and say:

“Hey, you know –  I’m going to be in your neck of the woods next week because I have to (visit a friend/attend a seminar/go there for work) and why don’t I give you a call while I’m over there and maybe we’ll meet for a drink?”

It conveys confidence and shows you have other things going on besides trying to meet up with her.

All VERY important stuff!

Remember, neediness KILLS attraction.

Confidence AMPLIFIES it.

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Newsflash: She’s NOT Interested!

I was just browsing around a dating advice forum and I saw a post from a guy who had an Online Dating challenge similar to what a LOT of guys face…

Here is what he said:

“I just started emailing back and forth with a woman I met online. After the third email, I thought its time to move this to setting up a date and meet face to face so I suggested we exchange pics, in which I initiated and attached a picture.

I didn’t hear back for 10 days and our communication has been such that we respond within 2-3 days. I sent her a quick “hmmm are you getting shy on me? :P” reply at which she replied: “Hey, just been really busy with work and family. I’ll msg you when things calm down.”

Normally I would just think ok the girl is busy I’ll just email some other chicks in the meantime. But I decided to call out what my intincts were telling me. So I did something I would never had done before, I emailed her back with this:

“Hey….I have a hunch that maybe your not interested in further communication just from you suddenly becoming “busy” and the reply you gave me.

An email doesn’t take alot of time even if your really busy, If that’s the case just be an adult about it and say that, its not a big deal. I don’t expect anything from you but I do expect honesty. I’m the type of person to be pretty direct, however if your genuinely interested in continuing chatting that’s cool.”

My Comments:

Oh, GREAT Caesar’s Ghost!!

I didn’t see whether or not this woman responded to his email but it’s safe to assume she bolted rather quickly! OK, what happened here? Well, this guy made SEVERAL critical mistakes and I don’t know where to begin.

First of all, ALWAYS make sure you have exchanged pics prior to any some online dating sites where you don’t have to post your picture, but it should be a requirement by now. Always know WHO you are talking to up front!

With that said, let’s move on. He sent her his picture and suddenly, things got really stagnant. He then sent her his; “Are you getting shy on me email” which really wasn’t too bad, BUT… Her response to that is what should have signaled the end of his pursuit!

“Hey, just been really busy with work and family. I’ll msg you when things calm down.”

Translation:

“I’m not really feeling it for you but I don’t want to say it, so I’ll give you this little clue and hopefully you’ll go away.”

I’ve seen it SO MANY times in my years dating online.

It’s similar to the “Take Care” email I talk about in my book. Basically, it means “game over.” Move onto other women and start sending out emails.

Well, this guy didn’t do that. Instead he sent an “angry guy” email. He DEMANDED honesty, and “how could she play around with him like this if she’s not interested?”

I also talk about the “Angry Guy” email in my book. It’s a common response from a guy who takes online dating TOO personally and tries to shame women for not being honest with him. Instead of just blowing it off and moving on, he sends her a DIRECT and STERN email, laying down the rules.

BIG MISTAKE! I’ve done this before too. It DOES NOT work! The best thing to do is move on. Also, a confident guy would NEVER send this kind of email to a woman. He assumes that every woman he emails is interested. He doesn’t need verification that she’s NOT.

So, remember this next time you get a similar response from a woman.

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Fishing Again!

I’ve found myself single once again and it’s time to go fishing.

Before, I always focused my online dating efforts on sites such as match.com and Yahoo Personals, but I’ve recently plunged into Plentyoffish, one of the more popular free online dating sites.

There are things I like and things I don’t.  Of course it being a free site is a good thing but with that comes drawbacks such as annoying advertising on most pages.  Advertisers are getting rather clever too with ad placement and appeal.  The other day I logged in to see who had “viewed me” and at the end of the row was a HOT looking woman, but upon further review I noticed this was an ad that looked similar to profile search results.

Crap!!

But, I DO like the women I’m seeing around there and I’ve already had some GREAT results after posting a brand new online dating profile.

Typical responses to my profile include:

“Thanks for making me laugh” or  “Your profile was so funny, the scary thing is that really happens!”

The latter was referring to a line at the end of my profile where I simply state:

“So, stop reading and start writing.  Besides, I KNOW you want nothing to do with the other guys around here.  I hear they are known for proposing to women on the FIRST date.  Yikes!!” So, I’ll start sending out messages too using some subject lines from my upcoming new ebook; “101 eye-catching email subject lines.” I’ll have plenty to choose from!

One more thing, almost EVERY woman I saw on there has some “requirements” at the end of her profile which say you must meet in order to message her.  POF has created this I suppose in an effort to match people more closely. And one of the requirements is almost always, “must not be looking or HAVE SEARCHED FOR casual hookups.”

So, keep this in mind when going fishing over there.

I will, of course, keep you updated on my experiences on Plentyoffish.

Stay tuned…

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Free Ebook!

Here is a little Free Report I put together that I think you’re going to like.  It’s called “The Secret To Meeting beautiful Women Online.”  Download it right here:

The Secret To Meeting Beautiful Women Online

Enjoy!

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Busiest Time Of Year For Online Dating Websites

Happy New Year!

Yes, with the arrival of the new decade, comes the arrival of more beautiful women to online dating websites around the world!

I just read that January is the busiest time of the year for online dating.  Men and Women are joining in HUGE numbers and you know what that means?

It means it’s time to get off your ass and start putting together that profile you’ve been putting off.  It’s time to start responding to as many women as possible because NOW IS THE TIME to reach them in great numbers!

You know what?

During the last month I’ve had more views and responses to my online dating profile than almost all of last year.  Blew me away!

I guess it makes sense since this is supposedly a HOT time for internet dating.

So, get on it and start taking action.  The holidays are over, the new year is here and it’s time to meet someone.  And just so you know I’ve reduced the price of my ebook, Internet Dating Mastery so if you want to get a good deal on it, now is the time.

Make this year your BEST!

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Are You Making These Profile Mistakes?

Ok, I’ve been looking at some profiles that guys are sending and I realized it’s time to send out a list of things to NOT include on your online dating profile. Hope this helps:

  • Do not show a picture of yourself wearing a “World of Warcraft” T-shirt. Need I say more?
  • “I love to curl up on a rainy day and read a good book, cuddle, and take long walks on the beach.” Yes, women like to do these things, but they don’t want to hear that from you. Women want a REAL man!
  • Any picture with your shirt off. It’s CHEEZY and not what women want to see in a guy’s profile. She wants to see her boyfriend with his shirt off, not you!
  • Weird stuff like: “Hey my name’s Joe, but the ladies call me stud muffin.” This is a HUGE turn off and quite lame!
  • Self-deprecating humor. (Making fun of yourself.)
  • Showing you have money.“In my spare time, I love cruising around in my Porsche.” Trying way TOO hard! Do you want the kind of woman who is impressed by this?? I think not!
  • Being too unavailable.“I work 60-70 hours per week.”Woman thinks: “You will not have time for me.”
  • Profile that’s too long. Always be MYSTERIOUS! Saying too much kills attraction! She shouldn’t have to scroll down to read your write up.
  • Too many/not enough pictures. You only need 5 pics. A. One head shot where the girl can clearly see your face. No sunglasses, hats, etc. It shows you’re trying to hide something. B. A picture of you doing something fun. Perhaps one of your hobbies? C. A picture of you out with friends.D. More of B and C!
  • Show a CONFIDENT writing style! Do NOT use passive language.

So, there you go. Constructing a magnetic profile that attracts quality women isn’t so hard if you follow the rules above. Post comments and tell me what you think.

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If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

.

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Internet Dating is for Losers!

Is that what you believe? I sincerely hope not!

I was just talking to a female friend of mine and she refused to believe that a guy could meet quality women online and run “smooth game” on the internet.

I had to laugh as she said that. It’s so funny how some people believe there’s a stigma with online dating and only “losers” are looking for dates online. Those who have such a ridiculous belief generally fall into one of two categories.

1) They’ve NEVER tried online dating and don’t know what it’s about.

2) They tried it once, didn’t know how to do it effectively and failed at it. Then they gave up convinced that it’s a waste of time.

Well, I have to feel sorry for folks in both groups. If you fall into the first group then that’s OK. You just need to take some action and get into the game. The sooner the better!

As far as the second group, well all you have to do is learn how to meet people online the right way. And if you use my strategies for meeting quality women online, you’ll have more dates that you’ve ever had before!

So, I told my friend all about how I’ve met tons of cool, attractive women online and how it’s important for guys to be non-needy, convey their confidence and show their personalities in their profiles. She didn’t have much to say after that.

To all those people who think online dating is for losers. Well, go right ahead. In the mean time the rest of us will enjoy meeting tons of quality women from the …. gulp…. Internet.

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This Is Going To Piss You Off…

OK,

I want you to stop and think why you want to read this post.

Is it because of the subject line?

I’m thinking yes!

We often don’t realize how important subject lines are when writing to women on internet dating sites. There are so many different variations I use to get a woman’s attention and this is yet another one.

So, I start my email with this subject line…

“This is going to piss you off.”

Do you think she’s going to open it?

Damn right!

Now, where do I go from there?

How do I start off this email?

Well I need to be clever and make it funny.

What could piss her off?

Think about typical “chick” things that annoy them.

Well, what could be more annoying than other guys on dating sites!!

It’s always fun to reference some dude who’s totally clueless when it comes to online dating.

Ok, here we go:

Subject: “This is totally going to piss you off!”

Body: I mean, it’s come to my attention that the guy below me in your inbox is actually MARRIED and looking for a fling. Really! If that isn’t bad enough, the guy above you is LYING about his age! Ok, now that we’ve established their true intentions, we can focus on me…

And just take it from there!

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If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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