how to email women on dating sites

Taming “Needy” Behaviors.

You know I often talk about how important it is to avoid needy behavior when dealing with women online.  Well, here’s a letter from a subscriber that illustrates what can happen when you come on too strong:


I gotta problem. I met a woman a couple of weeks ago, and what a woman! She is just amazing and I cant get her out of my head. We have only met twice so far but spend over an hour on the phone very night. The first date was dinner at the yacht club and the 2nd we spent most of the night on the beach talking and drinking champagne. Sounds pretty good eh! So what’s the problem? Well, her ex really screwed her up. She’s not given me all the details yet but the result is that she has major trust issues and she shares she has ‘lost’ herself and does not know who she is or what she wants out of life anymore. She says she sees me as a great friend but does not know if she wants another relationship. Her last relationship was a marriage of about 20 years. I know it crazy but I think she is the one! How do I get her to break through her current negativity and realize that not all men will damage her in the way that her ex has.

My head is telling to give this woman a wide berth and look elsewhere but I just can’t because I would wonder what might have been if I stuck it out.

CY Australia

(My Response)


Ok, first of all… SLOW DOWN!

You need to take a deep breath here and give her some room to think.  I see two big problems here that stand out:

“but spend over an hour on the phone very night.”

It’s great that you two have a solid connection and that things seem to be going well, but you don’t want to be spending hours on the phone every night.

Are you familiar with attraction theory?  Things like giving her the gift of missing you and avoiding neediness?  When you come on too strong and suffocate women, it can lead to this…

“She says she sees me as a great friend but does not know if she wants another relationship.”

Bingo!  That tells you something right there.  She will rationalize it in her mind that she’s “not ready” to move onto someone else and her past relationship does factor in, but; you still need to do things right when it comes to building attraction.

Here’s what you should do… no contact for three days!  I mean no phone calls, texts, nothing!  See what happens.  I’m betting she will come to you.

Try and be patient and take things more slowly.  Let her know that you are still dating other women, which is what you should be doing anyway.

If she is “the one.”  You’ll know soon enough.


Remember, any time you display needy behavior, it lowers your value and a woman will thus become less attracted to you.

So what’s the answer??  Don’t do it!!  Always raise your perceived value in her eyes.  That’s the key to becoming successful with Online Dating.

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Internet Dating Tips From Women


I just ran across an article that’s called, “The Ten Commandments of Online Dating.”  Now, I normally don’t pay much attention to Online Dating advice written by women FOR guys, but this article was rather interesting.

Check it out here:  Online Dating Article

Ok, I know, not really earth shattering… BUT let’s do a little recap anyway, just for fun!

1)  Thou shall not act too cool to care.  Well, actually acting like you really aren’t into someone can work in your favor.  As you know, nothing can kill your chances faster than being too needy when trying to meet women online.  But, you need to show interest initially otherwise she won’t know you exist.  But save the “too cool for school” act for when she’s already attracted to you.

2)  Thou shall not search online for a new mate until the present mate is out of the picture.  This one is obvious.  Be sure and have your head together before going to meet women online.  I talk more about this in Chapter 1 of my ebook Internet Dating Mastery.

3)  Thou shall not be long winded.  This one is very interesting.  Note that she says being brief and to the point shows confidence!  Well, we know how important confidence is when attracting women.  Now you know why so many guys tell you to keep those emails brief and to the point!

4)  Thou shall not forget to use the spell checker.  Obviously you want to use good spelling.  Nothing to add here.

5)  Thou shall not act Creepy McCreepy.  Yes, don’t act creepy when meeting online.  If you follow my advice, you shouldn’t have ANY problems in this area.

6)  Thou shall not pick a dumb username.   Now, when it comes to usernames; you just need to avoid LAME ones.  There is no super secret username that’s going to make her want to jump you.  They don’t exist.  So don’t spend too much time trying to come up with one.  BUT, don’t use BAD ones.

7)  Thou shall not e- lie.  Don’t lie about your age or height in your profiles.  OK, add one inch to your height but THAT’s IT!  Remember, the goal is to meet her in person as soon as possible.  What are you going to do when you meet her and she sees you’re 10 yrs older than the thought?  Not good!

8)  Thou shall not be late on the first date.  Being late is OK, but not too late.  Don’t be early.  But, don’t fret about this one.

9)  Thou shall not act Creepy McCreepy.  See above.

10)  Thou shall not pretend you fell off the face of the earth.  I actually totally agree with this one.  If you aren’t feeling it, let her know.  You don’t want to waste her time or yours.

OK, I hope you found this recap informative and entertaining.  If you want to learn more about meeting women online, check out this free preview of my book here.  What do you think about this article?  Let me know in the comments below.

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Do NOT Use This Subject Line…

So, I was bantering back and forth with a woman I met on Plenty Of Fish and I do what I usually do in a second email and ask her how it’s been going on POF.  She responds that she’s been getting A LOT of “Hey Sexy” emails from guys that obviously have not even read her profile.

Read that again!!   Guys who have “not even read her profile.”

Ok, there are two things wrong here and I think you know what I’m taking about.

First, I’ve said it many times before and I’ll keep saying it until I’m BLUE in the face, do NOT use lame subject lines when emailing women online!!  And yes, “Hey Sexy” is a very LAME email subject line!  There are numerous ways to get a woman’s attention and using really bad, unoriginal subject lines is NEVER the right way to do it.

Secondly, make SURE you always mention something about her profile when emailing her.  This lets her know that you read her profile!!  The days of sending out cut and paste emails to every HOT woman you can find are long gone!  She’ll sniff it out a mile away… So, don’t even think about it.

Anyway, I then responded to this woman saying how AWESOME and original the “Hey Sexy” subject line is and why didn’t I think of that one before… Obvious SARCASM!  She laughs and now we have a meet up this weekend!

So remember, email subject lines are crucial, if not the MOST important component of your emails.  So be sure you get them right!

Want to see a complete list of Email Subject Lines I use to meet women online???

Click Here To See It Right Now

That’s all for now.  I’ll talk to you soon.

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My New Ebook Is Here!

The time has come…

And I just wanted to let you in on some exciting news!

In recent months, I’ve had a lot of guys email me wanting to know why their emails aren’t getting read and responded to when emailing women online.

As you know, this can be a BIG challenge with most men and it’s one I wanted to address specifically.

When I first started out with Online Dating years ago, I had the same exact problem. I would send out TONS of emails daily, and then wonder why I wasn’t getting any responses.

It was VERY frustrating having to see, “Unread Deleted” when I went to check the “read notification” list on any Online Dating Site.

I knew I had to get to the root of the problem!

Well, I would later find out that my emails were NOT GETTING READ in the first place!!

(Believe me, it took a lot of testing and thinking and MORE testing to figure out exactly what was going wrong.)

So after many months, I determined that it was my Email Subject Lines that were NOT doing the job of getting a woman’s attention immediately!

That makes sense because as you know, women are getting bombarded with 50 to 100 emails daily from guys all desperately vying for her time. And if a woman doesn’t see an email that compels her to open it, then she’ll miss it and move on to one that does.

So, the key here is to make sure you use Email Subject Lines that STAND OUT and force her to respond!

Well, I’m proud to say I’ve solved this problem by coming up with a HUGE list of my very BEST email subject lines. I’ve been using them for YEARS to meet Beautiful Women Online and now I’ve decided to share them with you!

I have to admit, I’m a little nervous at the thought of revealing my sneaky little weapons, but I want you to have the success that I currently enjoy with Online Dating.

And the only way to do that is to share with you what works and what works consistently, ALL THE TIME!

So here’s the deal…

I just finished up my brand new ebook called:  “101 Eye-Catching Email Subject Lines For Online Dating”

In it, I’ve included all of my very best email subject lines and I think you really should check it out.

In fact, I’m currently using a lot of the lines in this book right now to meet women online!  They are, afterall timeless – and you’ll be able to use them whenever you want… even years from now!!!

Alright so… to read more about my new ebook, just go here:

I’m VERY excited about it and I hope you will be too!!

It’s been about ten years in the making, and I’m NOT holding anything back!

Here’s the link again:

Check it out and I hope you enjoy it!

I’ll talk to you soon,


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Holiday Internet Dating Tips

Here we are approaching the end of the year… again!

Oh, how time flies when you’re busy…

Especially when you are dating plenty of attractive women online.

Recently, I have been meeting my fair share of women online, but it took a while for me to get to this point.

You see, about six months ago I broke up with my Girlfriend of two years.  It wasn’t an easy decision and these kinds of decisions are always tough to make.  It was a relationship that just wasn’t working so something had to be done.

Anyway, it took me a few months before I was ready to date online again.  BTW, I always recommend taking a little break after a serious relationship to “clear your head.”

I know some guys like to get right back out there to try and forget about “her”, but I always found it hard to do that.  One thing’s for sure is that you will NOT be in the right frame of mind if you try and date other women while still hung up on an ex!!  So, just make sure you take that into consideration.

So, as I said, we are approaching the end of the year and here in the US, that means lots and lots of HOLIDAYS!

Not a good time of year to try online dating… you say??

Well, think again!

It’s a great time to get out there and attack those online dating sites!  Think about it.  Women do NOT like to be alone during the holidays.  So, where do you think they’re going to meet guys??

Internet Dating Sites, of course!

If you haven’t gone online and sent out emails lately, then WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??  Now is the time to take advantage of this situation.

In fact, I’m going to give you a very effective email subject line to use RIGHT NOW!  You know how I like to use compelling and eye-catching subject lines and this one works like a charm.  In fact, my new ebook is going to be ALL ABOUT catchy email subject lines so be sure and keep a look out for it!

So, try this…  Send an email with the following subject line…

“A Friendly Holiday Warning…”

Then, go on to warn her about something that might happen as a direct result of the Holidays.  You have to be clever here.  Be sure and make it HUMOROUS.  Maybe mention more lame guys who might be emailing her and in order to avoid them, she’d better get hitched up with you.

Think about it and see what you come up with.

Now, go online and start sending out those emails!  And be sure and let me know how it goes.

Happy Holidays!

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How To Respond To A Woman’s Internet Dating Profile

So, you see an amazingly HOT woman on  She has great photos and a personality to boot!

She has a great sense of humor and a very dynamic personality.  You can tell she’d be a great addition to your already fulfilling life.  She also lives reasonably close to you.

You just HAVE to respond to her!!!

But how?

As you can imagine, she’s probably getting 50 to 60 emails a day from every guy within a 500-mile radius. She opens her inbox to see a barrage of boring emails with subject lines that all looks the same.

“Hey baby! You’re so fine!”

“Hey, nice guy here. I think you’re cute!”

“Oh my GOD! You’re so beautiful! Please respond to this email!”

“Baby, I want to make you my love muffin!”

And the emails get worse and worse. This is the reality of a beautiful woman on an internet dating site.

And this is GREAT news!  Why?

Because, you are going to be the real MAN that stands out and gets her attention. You’ve already seen her profile and now you MUST find a way to get her eyes on YOU.

How do you do that?

It’s simple.

Have a GREAT subject line in your email. If you don’t have a great subject line then your email will NEVER get read. Simple as that. That’s why we have to put good subject lines in our response.


Now, I like to use subject lines that are ambiguous. Ones that leave her wondering, “What is he talking about?”

Women love a good mystery and nothing is more mysterious then a subject line that has her wondering why you wrote it.  I might write something like:

“Oh my GOD! What are you doing?”

It doesn’t get more mysterious then that! When she sees an email like this in her inbox, you’d better bet that she’s going to open it.

Now, you need to be sure and explain it in your email to her. If you don’t she’ll feel tricked and move on to someone else.  There are many different ways to go here.

I might start off my email like this:

“I mean, here you are sitting there with 50 emails in your inbox and it took you this long to get to mine? I just might forgive you if you’re up for a challenge. “

Then, just continue your email. See how easy that was?

The most important thing is to get her attention right off the bat. Once you do that, you’re in.

So, write down a list of ten creative, eye-catching, and ambiguous subject lines similar to the example above. Then come up with ways to start off an email using each subject line. Once you have your arsenal, you’re ready to respond to all the hot women in your area.


If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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How To Get Your Online Dating Emails Opened

Let me ask you a few questions…

When you first open up your email inbox, do you instantly know which messages to delete?

If so, how do you know which ones belong in the trash?

Well, if you’re like me, as soon as you go to your inbox you check each email’s subject line, that is if you don’t recognize who it’s from right off the bat.

The subject line will tell you right away whether or not it’s junk mail. If I see anything having to do with Viagra, Cialis, Nigeria, Awards, Gift Cards or Adult sites, then I delete it right away.

So, this means that when you send out emails, the subject line is SUPER important and it must be able to get a woman’s attention in some way if she’s going to open it.

This is especially true since attractive women on internet dating sites get tons of emails from guys every day. These women are just looking for a reason to delete your email right away and if that happens, it’s game over before it starts.

Well, as it turns out, there is one particularly simple and straightforward subject line that WILL get your emails opened every time.

Before I reveal what it is, think about all the subject lines that get your attention. What is it that draws you in and makes you think, “I have to see what this is about!”

Would it be something like:

“Look here, more free stuff!” or “OPEN ME RIGHT NOW!”

Yah, those worked a long time ago, but now, you just delete them.

Well, what if you opened up your email inbox and saw a subject line that simply read:

“bad news…”?

Whoa! That’s right.

You would want to open it right away!

“What do you mean “bad news”? Oh no! I better see what’s wrong!”

You see, that is the subject line that will open emails more quickly then any others.

When you think about it, it makes sense. If you were to open your email inbox and see a subject line that read, “bad news…”, you would immediately think it was from a friend or family member telling you some distressing news. And you would HAVE to open it right away.

So, what are a few good ways to apply this subject line to internet dating? Particularly, sending emails to very attractive women? Well, there are many different ways to do it.

So, I go online and find a profile of a woman who is very attractive and I decide I want to contact her. I write in my subject line:

“bad news…”

Now, I don’t just leave it like that then write something totally unrelated to the subject line. That would be lame and she would delete my email right away.

So I might start it off like this:

“It’s come to my attention that you’re about to reply to the guy above me in your inbox. Did you know that he’s known for proposing to women on the first date? Yes, well good thing I’m here to stop you from making a HUGE mistake! Anyway…”

Then, just go on with your email. See, first I catch her attention with my subject line then I turn it into something humorous at the beginning of my email. I got her attention then put a smile on her face.

This kind of response is GOLD and works for me every time! So, give it a try. Come up with a few subject lines similar to “bad news…” Here are a few off the top of my head:

“Distressing news…”

“I’m afraid I have some bad news…”

“This is unfortunate…”

Then, craft an email similar to the example I used above. Start off explaining the subject line by making it into something humorous. In fact, just use this template:

“It’s come to my attention that you’re about to reply to the guy above me in your inbox. Did you know that he’s known for (insert typical mistake guys on dating sites make)? Yes, well good thing I’m here to stop you from making a HUGE mistake! Anyway…”

And there you go!

Remember, getting those emails opened is crucial to your internet dating success. Once you have that down, you’ll be an Internet Dating Master in no time!!!


If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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Emailing Women SUCKS!

What do you think is the MOST frustrating part of online dating???

What do you HATE the most about it?

I’ll bet you don’t have to think too hard about it because I’m guessing that you find “getting women to respond to your emails” the MOST frustrating!

Am I right?

Well, I know because I’ve been there. I remember the days of sending out multiple emails to every HOT woman I could find, only to be rejected again and again and AGAIN!


After all, what’s the point of even spending all this time with internet dating if you can’t get women to view or respond to your emails??


Well, I’ve got news for you…

Did you know that most of the women you are emailing aren’t even OPENING your messages?

It’s true!

Now, if most women aren’t opening your messages then they definitely can’t write you back!

No, these women aren’t “rejecting” you for being too bald, too short, too old, or too fat…

They aren’t even SEEING your emails in the first place!

A woman can’t reject someone she doesn’t know exists… right?

This is good news!

Now, what you need to do is make sure women are opening your emails. As you know, attractive women are getting bombarded with emails from guys every hour of every day and you better BELIEVE that they are going to delete ones that don’t get their attention… FAST!

So, what is it that determines whether or not a woman will open your email?

It comes down to ONE thing:

Your email subject line!

If you are using a dating site that also displays a user’s picture with the message then she will see that too but your email subject line is the single MOST important part of your message and if you want your emails read… you had BETTER get it right!

No, lines like, “Hey baby” or “Hi” aren’t going to cut it.

If you use one of those subject lines, your email will be deleted immediately!

Well lucky for you, I’ve come up with a way of making sure your emails will get opened and read EVERY TIME! It’s really not that hard to do and you’ll be kicking yourself for not learning this sneaky little trick sooner. It involves using mystery and ambiguity in your subject lines. Women can’t resist this! It drives them NUTS!

Imagine sending an email with the following subject line:

“Wait! You’re about to MAKE a HUGE mistake! Don’t do it!”

Now, when ANY woman comes across an email with that subject you can be SURE she’s going to open it.

The next part is crucial!

You have to follow it up in your email in a way that makes sense. Don’t just launch into your message without explaining the subject line. You have to be clever here… Say something like:

“…Don’t open that message from the guy above me unless you enjoy bicycle dates. He doesn’t own a car. Anyway…”

That’s just one of many messages I’ve sent to women and they just EAT IT UP!

What does it do?

First, it gets their attention… very important!

Second, it shows that I have a sense of humor. Also SUPER IMPORTANT. Most guys don’t use ANY humor in their emails to attractive women because they are so scared of them.

Finally, it shows I have confidence and I’m NOT afraid to express who I am! Super important!

Try it out and let me know how it goes!

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When to Write Women…

Summer is here!

Well, at least where I live.

The interesting thing is that Summer does have an effect on when to send emails to women on internet dating sites. Obviously, more women are out doing things during this time of year and are spending less time online.

One thing that does not change is the amount of time people spend online during the week at their jobs.

You wouldn’t believe how many women spend their days, bored at unfulfilling jobs reading their emails. I used to post an ad on Craigslist and the replies would come in one after another at all hours during the day on weekdays.

So, what does this mean?

It means you still want to post new ads on Craigslist, MORNINGS during the week. This is when women are going to be surfing the web looking for clever ads with unique headlines… You know, the kind you learn about in my book, “Internet Dating Mastery.”

So, keep doing that.

On weekends though, you’ll want to tone down your efforts. Summer is all about going out and enjoying your passions!

So live it up this Summer!!

And meet some attractive women, don’t let this opportunity go to waste.


If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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Now Is The Time!

That’s right!

The holidays are here and now is the time to take advantage of all those lonely single women who don’t have a special someone over the holidays.

If you were thinking of taking a break, well think again!

I remember back when I first started out with online dating. I would send out emails constantly and never take a break. Then the holidays would come around and I thought, “Well, now isn’t the time for online dating. All the girls are on vacation.”

I was WRONG! The holidays are an even BETTER time to be sending out emails and fine tuning that dating profile!

As I mentioned above, there are tons of lonely girls out there and the holidays are not a fun time to be alone.

Women are hard wired to belong to a group. Nothing makes a person feel more excluded than being alone during the holidays.

My point?

Get out there and send emails to all the women you can find. Who knows, you might find that perfect date for New Year’s Eve.


If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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Secret Halloween Online Dating Tips

So, Halloween is here!

Always my favorite time of year.

When I was a kid, obviously I loved Halloween because of the pillow case full of candy I would always receive from generous neighbors.

Now it’s not so much about candy, it’s more about Halloween parties with sexy women in mind blowing SEXY costumes!

Just go out on the streets Friday night and you’ll find them… kitty outfits, devil outfits, cop girl outfits, and I’m sure we’re going to see more than a few Sarah Palin clones out there this year.

Not that I mind.

So, how does online dating fit into all of this. Well, now’s the time to send a “Halloween Party” email template to women. Chances are, you know where a Halloween party is this year and if you don’t, ask someone where one is.

Go online and send a woman something like,

Subject: “Halloween Party Wanted”

Body: “OK, you look like a person who just might know where one is in our lovely town. So, show me the way to the nearest, wildest Halloween Party and I just might give you the pleasure of escorting me.

Let me know soon! Time is running out!


There you go.

Try it out.

You just might meet someone special and have the time of your life in the process.


If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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Make it a Habit!

One really important thing to do when you’re “online dating” is to develop a system that works for you.

Take all the components involved…

designing an eye-catching profile and tweaking it, responding to women, going out on dates, calling women, and create a system that will allow you to have all of it on autopilot.

Let’s take emailing women as an example.

You come home from work after a busy day and you decide to fire off some emails.

Well, first you need to check your inbox and see who has emailed and winked at you. Go through the winks and decide which of the women who sent them you find attractive.

Don’t wink back at them!

Instead, fire off your standard, “wink response” and see if she bites.

If not, no big deal. Now quickly move to your emails. Again, decide which ones you like and send your standard, “she emailed first” response…


That was easy!

Now, quickly check out the profiles of women who have viewed you recently.

These are women who are already interested in you… Look for ones you find attractive and send your standard, “viewed me” email to them.

If she bites fine.

If not, move on.

Decide to send a total of five emails tonight. If the amount of “viewed me” emails you just sent doesn’t total five, start doing a profile search in your area.

Find women you really like and then fire off your standard, “first email.”

You sent five emails!

You’re done for tonight!

Now go on to something more important while you wait to see the results of your efforts.

That’s it!

Online Dating on autopilot.

Make it a habit!


If you found this article helpful, then you REALLY need to check out my TOP SECRET Online Dating Profile.  My email inbox was literally FLOODED with emails within MINUTES after posting this profile!

Click here to see it RIGHT NOW!

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